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Soyrusalem
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And I accept that. |
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 Mazel tov! Soyrusalem is Kosher!
The content of this page has been fact-checked by real Israeli patriots. | |
Soyrusalem is a gemerald.
for a guide, see Soyrusalem/guide
Soyrusalem was a town established by CobsonTALKS and Gold on (since closed) Minecraft server "EarthPol" [1] It was founded on June 7 2025[2] by CobsonTALKS, before being quickly handed over to Gold. The city was considered the successor to Terradivisa's soypolis. Gold's rule had been widely lauded among members of the Gempire of Soot for his perceived incompetence and impulsiveness in leading the country. The Gempire & Soyrusalem was first conceptualized on June 6th on a raid thread, and officially established on June 9th. The first iteration ended on June 13th, however a second attempt started December 19th and exceeded far past the original June plans.
Soyrusalem was known in the server for causing immense seethe among the native population of Earthpol by chudding up chat. Until the server closed, Israel was the fastest growing and largest nation in population density.
Old Soyrusalem - Gempire of Soot
| June Cypriot-Soyteen Conflict | |||
|---|---|---|---|
| Part of Raids | |||
 | |||
| Date | June 7 2025-July 2025 | ||
| Location | soyjak.party, Minecraft | ||
| Result |
Defeat
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| Belligerents | |||
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| Commanders and leaders | |||
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| Strength | |||
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| Casualties and losses | |||
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Pre-Gempire
Throughout June 6-9th 2025, the people of Soyrusalem would go through a lot development. Going from half a dozen members to 65 in just three days. Despite their numbers, the military efficiency of the City was extremely poor compared to other factions due to lack of equipment. In this time of military deficiency they developed a guerilla warfare tactic calling "Axing" where they ambush an enemy with nothing but stone axes and a shield, mostly in a group no smaller than 4. Other nations; Jerusalem, Cyprus and the German Confederation would develop resentment towards the ShartyBVLLS that inhabitated their server. Causing Gold to set up alliances with factions; Rhodesia, Albania and Agartha.
Battle of the Cuckshed
Around June 7th a group of a few Crusaders, Cypriots and Gazans form an alliance to set up a 2 chunk claim south of Soyrusalem, likely to serve as an outpost or millitary base. This would prompt Gold and Hunter to immediately claim the area around it to prevent further growth. This encirclement was later nullified by jannies who decided to remove the Gempire owned land. These events would culminate in the infamous battle of the Cuckshed.
Main article: Battle of the Cuckshed
Sacking of Jerusalem
The sacking of Jerusalem was a campaign to pacify and destroy Jerusalem, a settlement created by a normgroid to LARP as the heccin' wholesome crusaders. Tension began on June 7th when a user called Overplans began destroying Soyrusalem's crops and farm animals using lava buckets, causing Gold to turn off block permissions for outsiders. Overplans would later demand a 50% income tax; however, Gold would call him a "filthy goy" and burn him with lava thereafter. After this, roughly six 'teens would follow the pajeet on the map and kill him twice as revenge.
In response to the tensions, XTHEsilent, the supposed leader of Jerusalem, would try negotiating with Gold. However, Gold declined, demanding either full annexation of Jerusalem or the destruction of their town. The leader would in return reject the offer, and thus the Sacking of Goyrusalem began with a user calling upon all soyteens to grief the unprotected buildings of Jerusalem. Their place was severely lavacasted to oblivion and all their crops were destroyed. 'Teens would later begin to set chunk claims around the two problematic settlements to surround them and prevent expansion, these claims were later deleted by some jannies.
Soyteen-Rhodesian Alliance
On June 9th Soyrusalem would get assaulted by Cypriot larpers, causing massive amounts of resource loss due to the death count. As a result, Gold struck up a conversation with Rhodesia larpers on Discord to aid them with supplies, and military support in case of another invasion. As of 6/8, Cyprus has announced its plans to invade Soyrusalem, with Rhodesia supporting the latter in the aforementioned invasion.
Allegations of corruption by Gold
On June 8th, allegations against Gold, Soyrusalem's current mayor, were made, stating that he was a "Turkish 'corder", and furthermore that he abused his mayoral powers of Soyrusalem by removing several members after they complained about gold (the server's currency) being wasted. [3]
Raid on Gaza & Levantine-Cypriot War
After the establishment of the Kingdom of Soot, a conflict immediately broke out between Cypriots led by user Apigale and Soyrusalem, led by 33Faq. The war's reasoning was reportedly the Cypriots' attempt to attack a Rhodesian settlement. Owing to the lack of experience and gear of the Levantine army, heavy losses were taken by the Soyteens, of whom were reportedly attacking with stone weaponry against the Cypriots equipped with diamond gear and armor.[4][5] Consensus was formed shortly thereafter that the war was a stalemate, with Gold notably expressing immense rage in the Levantine nation chat [6][7] and kicking several members for continuing to raid the Gaza settlement after the war's end. [8] Gold was lauded after a stalemate had been formed for his perceived mishandling of the conflict, as well as lashing out in nation chat and kicking one member. [9] This battle notably resulted in the beginning of the ongoing conflict between the Cypriots and Soyteens.
Aftermath
The raid, which was a loss largely owing to the discrepancy in equipment between the Cypriots' forces and the Soyrusalemites, led to a regearing of the Levant's armed forces taking place. As of June 11th, the vast majority of its raiders were equipped with enchanted diamond equipment as a result of Gold's demands.
Southern Incursion
On June 11th, roughly two Cypriots launched a small-scale incursion into the southern border of Soyrusalem. A defense force composed mostly of diamond armor-equipped players led by CobsonTALKS was quickly formed to respond, pushing the two raiders back to Gaza. A short skirmish then took place between the Cypriots and 'teens before a stalemate was formed directly on the border between Soyrusalem and the wilderness. Attempts were made at utilizing both lava and arrows to attach each side, but with little results. The combatants gradually withdrew from their positions shortly thereafter.
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Siege Update
On June 13th, an update to Earthpol will be released allowing for nations to besiege other nations'. Gaza, under Cyprus, has announced its plans in advance to besiege Soyrusalem once the update releases.
Final days of the Gempire
After one month of the Gempire of Soot being established we eventually lost too many soyteens thanks to jannies being obnoxious niggers who helped our enemy on the first siege, most 'teens stopped playing afterwards because of poor management of the nation (Gold being a retarded nigger by giving perms to any nigger who asked and eventually one of them stole all our reserves of gold) and the aftermath of the first siege against gazacucks being helped by staff members which demoralized a lot of 'teens. The final days were not sour and we rejoiced on the experience and fun we had baiting the general chat and ambushing unironic faggots and 'corders and the funny times where we carpet bombed Gaza and leveled an entire mountain just to spite...and it was a very gemmy experience.
The Aftermath of the fall of Soyrusalem
After Gold had resigned and quit the server the city got sold off to Byzantium and plundered of anything valuable. First its territory has been reduced and later on the city was completely wiped off by the jannies. The whole area where Soyrusalem stood was rolled back to its original state and its claims got greately reduced. Now under a new name and owner whats left of the city remains empty and abandoned, a shadow of what it used to be.
Territories By June 14th:
Soyrusalem (Capital) - Levant
- 1. Gold mine outpost - North America
- 2. Diamond mine outpost - Southern Africa
- 3. Creeper XP farm - Unknown
- 4. Turkey Military outpost - Southern Anatolia
Soykanda - Levant
Nusoyrusalem - Gempire of Israel
Events & Happenings
You VVILL mention new events that happened in this section! You VVILL NOT mention any namefags here with the exception of SECA namefags!
December 2025
December 19th, 2025
- Gold returns to the server to re-establish Soyrusalem to find that it has been left unclaimed along with the whole area reversed back to a state before the Empire of Soot gem'd it up; xe would put the nation under the name "Jewtopia" which later gets reversed back to the name Soyrusalem in later events. Co-Owner of Earthpol 0xBit helps Gold fund Jewtopia with a shulker of 15 stacks of golden blocks.🗝️[10]
December 20th, 2025
- The Roman Empire and some other SNCA nation declares a crusade on Jewtopia, but nothing major happened. A RomeCUCK requests to duel a 'teen in Rome, which is accepted.[10]
| Crusade on Israel | |||
|---|---|---|---|
| Date | December 20th, 2025 - May 23rd, 2026 | ||
| Location | Earthpol | ||
| Result | Inconclusive | ||
| Belligerents | |||
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| Commanders and leaders | |||
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| Casualties and losses | |||
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December 21st - 23rd, 2025
- During these events, Jewtopia is re-named to its deadname
, "Soyrusalem". - The now re-named Soyrusalem would buy out the Gaza strip which included an Algerian tranny named Apigale. Xhe seethed and made a new Gaza named "Gaza 2". 'Teens then proceeded to rape all buildings along the Gaza strip along with transporting materials used and stashed into Soyrusalem, as well as building a huge moat along Gaza 2.*Many nations, Oceanic and Roman Empire sent spies using invisibility potions to scout out the NuSoyrusalem.
- A random kike named AIPACBeneficiary who was part of the New York nation under the now defunct "American Empire" communicates and has aligned ximself with Soyrusalem, trading and helping us out. The kike was using soyspeak which means whoever that random 'teen was had power in high places. In present day xhey are currently MIA.
December 24th, 2025 - February 4th, 2026
- Soyrusalem would slowly decrease in activity due to 'teens losing interest in the town. By January, the town was almost completely dead with only a couple active residents. At some point during this period ownership of the town and nation was transferred to SAVE_HOSPITALS.
February 2026
February 5th, 2026
- On February 5th, a thread[11] was posted on the Swinny advertising Soyrusalem. The thread was successful, reviving Soyrusalem with the town reaching up to 10 people online concurrently on weekends.
March 2026
March 5th, 2026:
- 'Teens find a Nether Portal in the Nether that takes you inside of DoomedCornKing's base which also happens to be the home of his many wolves; A few soldiers of Soyrusalem would take advantage of this by pushing all of his dogs into a network of Nether portals to bring back to Soyrusalem to be displayed and held captive in the museum, they would then be rescued by xim until 'teens stole them back again a day later.
March 6-7th, 2026:
- Just one day after DoomedCornKing brought his wolves back to Masada, the Soyrusalem ubermench goose-stepped back into his base to steal his wolves again only this time they were placed in boats to stop xim from rescuing them easily.
- 'Teens would start using the voice chatting feature within the server which was a haven of great ideas to fuck with our masadite neighbor and started to build an automated chicken farm in the Nether going into Masada along with
sendingdonating boats and TNT in minecarts through the portal. This event had graced the name of "the boatspam incident".
- During the boat spamming, a unidentified janny chimed in and listened to us for a while who also admitted having links to the government and police; said janny then alerted one of the server administrator, Synistor, who saw all of the chickens and boats we sent through into the masadian goon cave which raped his computer to 5FPS; xe had to manually destroy the hundreds of boats as the entity clearing command was broken. Jannies would laugh this off as a joke and just gave one of the 'teens a warning.
- The jannies secretly found this moment hilarious! As leaked on 24 May, they wheezed when they discovered 'teens did this, and wrote in a relevant joke about dedication as the internal warn reason.
March 8th, 2026:
- Construction of "Jartyville", a village made of dirt and sand structures intended to make DoomedCornKing seethe was started. Soyrusalemites conduct reconnaissance on DoomedCornKing's cuckmount, finding that all the entrances were sealed except for one. During this, a Romecuck named fahdawy teleported to Masada and attempted to kill one of the 'teens. A short duel took place before fahdawy combat logged. Construction of the Jarty village continued until DoomedCornKing finally got online and started chimping out, using lava to kill people in his claims. More Soyrusalemites started arriving, defending the Jarty village. Trying to use the unblocked entrance to break into the cuckmount, 2 'teens were portal trapped after they found that DoomedCornKing had blocked the portal during the "battle". Jannies would teleport to them after requests for help, they would not do anything and refused to get them out of the portal. Eventually, the masadite hog would break the top of the nether portal proceeding to pour lava as an attempt to burn them alive; a 'teen succumbed to the lava but the other was able to swim up negating any damage with netherite armour and Notch apples. Jannies then deleted the Jarty village by reverting it to the original terrain. They also expanded Soyrusalem's claims and deposited 1,500 gold in the town bank. Later, a bounty was put on DoomedCornKing, and his head was able to be collected and placed in the temple. The server's admins teleported to the temple and (likely unintentionally) stole the head, but also gave out unobtainable admin spawned player heads resembling kikes such as Jewish Steve and a Jewish Villager variant along with a head of the Israel flag.
- CobsonTALKS streams on the 'tube and plays on Earthpol after the events of The Battle of Jartyville, bringing his enclave of cacaborean soldiers along with encouraging /craft/ veterans to join back. This event has caused a large boom in activity making Soyrusalem at this current event in time the most active nation in the server. Some other popular namefags follow into joining Soyrusalem such as Rot.
March 9th, 2026:
- Users of the Swinny and members of Soyrusalem founded a new town in Greenland under the name Swinacht. The town was unable to officially join Israel due to restrictions by the server, however both towns work closely together and members in both towns are able to interact with blocks and build in the other. The nation is a very close and the only real ally of Soyrusalem.
March 13th, 2026:
- RomeCUCKS find the address of a 'teen and sent a package in his mail containing a sharp metal object with Chinese labels; the 'teen made them seethe so much that they are implying that he should self harm .
March 15th, 2026:
- Founding member of Swinatch gets 'nished both by Microsoft's new reporting system for causing too much clitty leakage along with jannies of Earthpol on his new account for using alternative accounts, this resulted in members of Soyrusalem securing all valuable resources and artifacts in the event of Swinatch becoming bankrupt or falling into disrepair. Swinatch currently has a new mayor and has departed from Borealia as it was suspecting a member of the nation came to grief the Notch temple. Swinatch is now a DNB but still exists.
March 20th, 2026:
- Though most jannies on the server are tolerant, even lenient towards Soyrusalem one administrator has surveyed members' actions and baiting attempts especially towards DoomedCornKing and decided to issue final warnings to the current mayor along with another citizen who mostly spearhead attempts to make DoomedCornKing seethe. Here is the official note left by a janny:
Synistor warned [REDACTED] for 'Rule 1.9 - Harassment (After Numerous Warnings Given To Your Nation, You Continue To Harass a Player In Order To Get Him To Rage Quit. You've All Been Given Multiple Chances Without Warnings. No More.'
March 22th, 2026:
- A member of Soyrusalem was banned from soyjak.party for rule 3 after bumping the /craft/ thread. This may mean that Soyrusalem is considered an "Off-site community".
March 23th, 2026:
- A RomeCUCK town created with the purpose of blocking Soyrusalem to further claim land called "Burj Islam" goes up for sale, 'teens attempt to buy it but the owner comes back online before enough money is made to buy it, resetting the 30 day timer, following this, they continue to gather gold anyway and set up several outposts to maximize gold.
March 25th, 2026:
- On this day, 'teens gather enough gold to purchase the town of "Antioch" which runs out of gold and becomes victim of the town purge; Antioch is a former RomeCUCK town in the middle of construction not too far away from Soyrusalem with a church built of sandstone which stored plentiful resources. The town gets ransacked of its loot along with artifacts to go in the Soyrusalem museum. CobsonTALKS comes up with the name "Geganon" which is agreed upon to be the new name of the town.
- Israel, the nation of Soyrusalem is now renamed to "Gempire of Israel"
March 27th, 2026:
- A new town in the Gempire of Israel was created under the name "St. Edward". It was originally located in West Africa but moved to Egypt to be closer to Soyrusalem.
April 2026
April 2nd, 2026:
- A member of Soyrusalem left to create a new town in Egypt named "Monotoria". It was added to the nation, increasing the number of towns in the Gempire of Israel to 4.
April 3rd, 2026:
- After being unable to buy South Jerusalem, focus shifted to expansion into the Sinai Peninsula. Land up to the Suez Canal was claimed by Soyrusalem, with a new canal being created due to the Suez being blocked by the Romans.
April 4th, 2026:
- The town of Damascus fell into ruin and was looted by members of the Gempire of Israel.
April 7th, 2026:
- Damascus was deleted after a 73 hour period and was claimed by Soyrusalem.
April 8th, 2026:
- The Roman town of Cairo left Rome and joined Israel. It was expected that they wouldn't stay for long, however the opportunity to have a Roman town in Israel was too funny to decline.
- The UN Peacekeepers (now the Galactic Empire) established an "outpost" in the middle of the desert on the Sinai Peninsula to block Soyrusalem from expanding. Despite it obviously breaking the server's rules, the jannies considered it to be "Just an outpost", and even threatened to give Soyrusalem a warning for "Hollow claims". This is probably due to the moderator who reviewed the report owning a nation allied to the UN.
April 9th, 2026:
- Cairo left the Gempire after claiming land they were previously blocked from being able to claim due to it being too close to another nation's land. This included another block of Soyrusalem's expansion into the Sinai by snaking around Soyrusalem's claims.
April 10th, 2026:
- Cairo expanded their block of Soyrusalem's claims, with the jannies continuing to do nothing about it.
April 11th - 14th, 2026:
- A third outpost made to block Soyrusalem's expansion was created by Savoy south of Damascus. This was ignored as there were no plans to expand in that area.
April 15th, 2026:
- The jannies finally responded to a report about the claim blocking, agreeing to remove Cairo's claims but maintaining that the UN's outpost did not break the server's rules. They again threatened to remove Soyrusalem's claims in the Sinai for being "hollow", despite many other towns in the server having similar claims.
- The entire town bank was spent fixing Soyrusalem's land claims in the Sinai to prevent the jannies from deleting them.
April 16th, 2026:
- Activity in Geganon was restored when CobsonTALKS returned to the town after 12 days of inactivity.
- Multiple Roman towns had their peaceful status removed, including Egypt (Cairo) and Masada. The Galactic Empire and Viltrum Empire started sieges on Roman towns with land bordering Israel.
- A random normgroid named poszan renamed his nation to the "Gempire of Poszan" and began besieging Roman towns.🗝️He offered to start a siege against Masada if Soyrusalem funded it, however Soyrusalem was unable to as there was not enough gold in the town bank.
April 17th, 2026:
- After 8 days, Cairo's claim blocking was finally removed.
- Soyrusalem and Geganon were connected by land.
April 18th, 2026:
- Rome was renamed to the "Eastern Roman Empire" after swapping names with Israel for a few minutes.
- The UN sieges both carthage and egypt, bankrupting the 2 towns just as a new IRL day arrives (8:00 PM EST) causing both to fall into ruin, soyrusalemites loot and grief egypt and lavacast everything, a few romecucks tried to fight back but failed miserably. carthage is also looted but not griefed due to being SNCA. during this time, a plan to siege, loot, and BTFO the west bank is also formed.
April 19th, 2026:
- The Gempire of Israel was forced to change its name to just "Israel" after a janny went on a powertrip and changed the names of multiple nations.
There was no explanation given other than "It's not correct".
April 27th, 2026:
- Gempire of Israel attacks Masada and wins.
May 2026
May 1st, 2026:
- Most 'teens dip for exam season, with a few staying on, mostly AFKing in splinter towns.
- Construction begins to connect the Gigachad pixel art at build limit with the gazebo located at the same place on the ground with a skyscraper.
- CalebBRG, who joined Geganon just 3 days prior, creates town of Goyhdad. Funding was granted to support Israel's westward expansion.
between these times:
- Geganon industrialises with beehives, an automatic pumpkin pie farm, copper production and the acquisition of villagers.
- Multiple stations are built in a brief spree, such as Geganon Silvermann itself and Damascus,
- Goyhdad successfully extends around Portuguese territory and creates a land bridge between Geganon and the Euphrates River.
- Jannies change the way claims work relative to the number of users in the town, in an attempt to nerf closed towns like Israel and motivate users to join big towns like Rome. This backfires and Rome ends up falling apart completely on its own.
- Geganon residents are granted build permissions in St. Edward in exchange for giving them wither skeleton skulls. They build a railway station resembling a miniature version of the one in Geganon.
- St. Edward begins to construct a beacon, a park, and a path connecting them to spawn.
- Automatic watermelon farm built in Soyrusalem.
- Geganonians get maphunted by an EU person camping at the maritime border. One casualty was recorded.
- NOTE: fill in more info on St. Edward. This was written from a Geganon perspective during different hours from St. Edward.
May 13th, 2026:
- Bilbao has fallen. Geganonians fly a ghast all the way in both directions, taking 2 hours, just to recover a single villager with Silk Touch.
- notably, the villager was named Chudmingus by the residents of Bilbao at the time, showing just how extensive Soyrusalem culture is.
- Gaza3d crashes out and burns the remains of the city out of nowhere, birthing the verb "to Gaza3d something" among residents of Geganon.
- Later, tons of TNT minecarts get hauled out.
- Burj Islam has fallen because the owner of the town deleted it by accident. It was a near-empty town with an extensive automatic brewer system. Geganonians haul as much as they can, including every redstone component necessary to rebuild the system and 10 double chests of each potion, then Gaza3d-ed the rest so no hostile factions could claim it.
May 15th, 2026:
- Town of Goyhdad is renamed to Goylinicus.
- New Israeli Museum built in Geganon; filled with swaths of flags acquired from Bilbao raid, the slim collection from the old Geganon Museum, a few items in the possessions of Geganon residents, and donations from SAVE_HOSPITALS.
- Somewhere prior to now, damage from fireworks fired by a crossbow was fully disabled. This was discovered during a sinister human experiment conducted in St. Edward.
- Shemshemet has fallen. A few resources and three villagers are recovered with difficulty (due to the abundant prevalence of paths in the town).
May 16th, 2026:
- Town of Goylinicus falls into ruin.
- As Chief CalebBRG did not industrialize beyond basic farming, nothing of value was lost.
- His (incredibly good) horse and around 11 Israeli flags were recovered safely.
- Town of Portugal falls into ruin. It was not used for anything.
- The Middle Eastern claim of Portugal is effectively used to hold the remains of Syria. Besides 3 Syrian flags, 2 stacks of quartz, and just one Blast Prot 4 book, nothing was there.
- Mainland Portugal was used for absolutely nothing. It only contained a ton of locked shops, empty chests, and a single vandalised house. Likely, this was used for plans outlined in the Rich Guild 101 book, an original copy of which may be found in the New Israeli Museum of Geganon.
- 6 weeks since wackysniper76 went online - 1 week for every 6 million of us holocausted
May 17th, 2026:
- Vali and artisansGrimoire visit the Geganon Museum.
- Geganon railway station roof is rotated 90 degrees and its top floor gets torn down.
May 18th, 2026:
- CalebBRG reclaims Goylinicus, reinvited to Soyrusalem.
- The EarthMC raid party with a few OG's gets blanket banned by EarthMC admins. They rejoin Soyrusalem.
May 20th, 2026:
- A few more oldteens rejoin the faction, and a few new faces appear. The OGs rejoin Soyrusalem and immediately proceeded to ragebait premium users in chat. The new players join Geganon instead.
- Archimes512 accidentally puts every plot in Geganon on sale in a stroke of absolute ineptitude. Jannies are called to help fix this.
- Geganonians work together and haul over 20 villagers from the trading hall in Madrid, which has been left accidentally unprotected.
- Giga Tower is decided to be a commercial-industrial "trade center". Work begins on the villager trading hall; plans are laid out to place basic resource farms in the top floors.
May 22nd, 2026:
- Gaza3d and Niko_Bellic slapfight over a swastika in Geganon's Giga Tower.
- ItzzLazr, owner of Egypt, visits the Geganon Museum.
- A full size Notchist larp gang joins from another server which just shut down. After proving their heritage in another ancient Sharty operation, they are admitted into Geganon, significantly increasing the town size.
May 23rd, 2026:
- Earthpol is closed, citing drama with the playerbase.
Notable Characters & Nations:
Allies:
- California
- Iran
Ottoman Empire Sweden
- Swinacht: Founded by members of the Swinny and Soyrusalem.
- poszan
- 0xbit - Owner of Earthpol, funded the creation of Soyrusalem with a shulker of gold blocks.🗝️ Used to be more involved with the server, but stepped back after it was discovered he was spawning items for his town with commands. Posted on the Sharty's Soyrusalem threads multiple times.
<figure>[./File:Moroccan_Caca.png 
]<figcaption>>come to morocco pweas! weas obsorbd by roman empiya</figcaption></figure>
Neutral:
- Moroccan Caca - Mayor of Morocco: Obsessed cacaborean who joins our voice chats and often visits Soyrusalem, he hasn't been seen since the caca was holed into a sandstone house in Jartyville, then being burned to death by a 'teen with lava. His town is currently a member of Rome.
<figure>[./File:DoomedCornKing_Slopjak.png <img class="mw-file-element" src="/images/thumb/8/87/DoomedCornKing_Slopjak.png/183px-DoomedCornKing_Slopjak.png" width="183" height="159" resource="./File:DoomedCornKing_Slopjak.png" decoding="async" data-file-width="803" data-file-height="696" data-file-type="bitmap" srcset="/images/thumb/8/87/DoomedCornKing_Slopjak.png/275px-DoomedCornKing_Slopjak.png 1.5x, /images/thumb/8/87/DoomedCornKing_Slopjak.png/366px-DoomedCornKing_Slopjak.png 2x" />]<figcaption>DoomedCornMutt, our greatest enemy and obsessed gegbull.</figcaption></figure>Enemies:
- Masada/the west bank - DoomedCornKing AKA "GoonedPornQueen" & such variations: Local gegbvll and QBSESSED nigger who calls us blasphemous or something like that, leader and only resident of the west bank AKA Masada; DoomedCornKing is also backed and affiliated with the Roman Empire.
- Egypt
- Eastern Roman Empire: The Larp Empire declared many 'teens outlaws, however no official war declaration yet. RomeCUCKS usually like to threaten to 'ox and set large bounties on 'teens along with watching us in our home of Soyrusalem often after causing SWS, their plan is to use invisibility potions and hope that a unknowing 'teen will step out of land claims so they can be lynched.
Al Umayyad Caliphate - Syria: Is completely obsessed with their leader talking in chat about how he hates Soyrusalem, but also wanted to make 'teens to help him out. Contracted rape aids from loosing to RomeCUCKS and is no longer with us.
NuGaza - Apigale AKA "Ackigale"After the Gaza strip was sold for a low price the sissa was forced to be part of Soyrusalem shortly after 'teens destroyed each building along with every Gazapedo home in Gaza which made Ackigale leak. Xhe then went on to create Gaza 2 however this is currently irrelevant as xhe has been quiet along with not being very active for a while. Ackigale is currently 'nished permanently for stacking too many bans.- Jannies - Formerly tolerated Soyrusalem and its members, however have recently turned hostile toward them.
The End
On May 23rd, 2026, Earthpol was shut down after its owner, 0xbit got sick of running the server and "fighting against actual children on fucking Minecraft". After 2 Soyrusalems, 3 Gemperors, the participation of over 200 Soyteens, raids and battles against other nations, and conquering thousands of chunks, Soyrusalem and the Gempire of Israel concluded.
Geg Gallery:
-
Waiting Game -
Syrian Leakage -
Soyrusalem as of December 21st. -
The DoomedCornKing Brimstone Creepypasta.
Nucopypasta:
Oh wow, another “epic Minecraft raid” manifesto from the same guys who think larping as “kikes” in a block game is peak comedy. Truly the pinnacle of based chud energy.
“NEVER FORGET WHAT THEY DID TO OUR BELOVED CITY, SOYRUSALEM.”
Bro, you got griefed in a 12-year-old sandbox game and you’re out here writing a blood oath like it’s the fall of Constantinople. Touch grass. Or at least touch a real city that wasn’t built by 15-year-olds on a server that smells like stale Cheetos.
“Gather 256 gold ingots so we can /t create a town.”
256 gold ingots? That’s not a town, that’s a mid-tier base you’ll lose in a week when someone with a stack of TNT logs on at 3 AM. You’re not building a nation; you’re building a very expensive sandcastle for the sea to wash away.
“Induce as much seethe as possible… do not become a nation as long as possible so they cannot conquer us. Be a (((Jew))).”
Ah yes, the classic “I’m so based I’m literally antisemitic in Minecraft” strat. Nothing screams “I’m a winner” like hiding behind a town name that’s just a slur with a Minecraft prefix. And the “be a (((Jew)))” part? Peak irony poisoning. You’re not trolling the server; you’re just proving the stereotype you’re mocking is accurate. Self-own of the century.
“Infiltrate other nations and steal from them like the kikes we are.”
You’re literally advertising that you’re going to grief, steal, and grief again while hiding behind “it’s just a larp.” The admins will have you banned faster than you can say “oy vey.” And when they do, you’ll cry “censorship” on the sharty like you’re Anne Frank with a keyboard.
“View World map + Location: https://earthpol.com/map/…”
Yeah, sure, drop the exact coords so the server can watch you get spawn-camped for the next three months. Genius opsec, king. Truly the masterminds behind the “guerilla warfare” of a game where you can fly with a rocket and blow up everything in one night.
This whole thing reads like a 16-year-old’s revenge arc written by someone who’s never won a single PvP fight in his life. You’re not “instigating” anything except the server staff’s ban hammer.
Keep larping as a Minecraft Jew, though. It’s the only thing you’re good at.
Stay seething, stay small, stay banned. Gemmy raid, bro. Truly.
